Life keeps going

It's been awhile - almost 5 months to be exact. A lot of life has happened in those 5 months, including work in the PhD world but also a lot not attached to that at all.

I had doctoral week in May - which, in hindsight, is a little crazy that I haven't blogged about that. It was amazing and transformative - not necessarily in a traditional sense but in the sense that it finally felt real that I'm doing this major thing that will ultimately culminate in me becoming Dr. Reedy-Rogier. Also, that's the first time I've typed that out and it gave me some feelings - like tears in my eyes kind of feelings. I also got to meet my cohort (or at least most of them - we already have a PhD cohort baby!) and that was also really comforting - these people I've spent hours on zoom calls with are real and fantastic. Hearing from the cohorts above us felt like getting directions from someone who's drunk: mostly accurate but also knowing that probably, you're going to have to figure out something on your own. (To be clear, none of them were drunk and they are very smart humans who gave very clear insights - I can just sense that this is such an individual journey that while somethings may be true for everyone, it also may not be true at all for me.) And also, meeting Arianne in person was great - I knew she would be warm and lovely but experiencing it firsthand continued to affirm that I'm in the right place (even if I do still wonder if I'm really going to be able to do this).

I'm going to blame the lack of blogging/documentation on the fact that then summer came at us quick. The boys were moving from camp to camp; at work, we were preparing for the fall gauntlet of overlapping classes which is a heavy lift in August and September; I was offered the chance to go to Vienna for AMEE (which I just returned from 3 days ago) but that also overlapped with the boys starting school and Charlie's birthday. Also, we traveled to South Carolina for a family trip with my brother and his family, we traveled to Chicago, ANNNND my step-dad, Rex, died.

My oldest child turned 10. That's also a bit of a mind-trip. A full decade of parenting which is another role I still feel like I haven't always fully settled into. I will say, parenting with ADHD is a whole thing on it own and I'm so grateful to be medicated now. But maybe that's the way it is with these identities. I wonder if there are any identities that I feel fully settled into...

Meanwhile, the work on the PhD continued to progress. I've refined my questions (I think). I'm finding methodologies that are interesting to me. I continue to have conversations with students and refine my role and identity as a faculty member who does research. I've also been fostering relationships and mentoring relationships with students which has been a balm to my soul.

So yeah, life keeps going. So far, I think I'm doing a good job keeping up. Ben helps. He is supportive of these morning and weekend work blocks that allow me to leave, sit with coffee, and work without having to play my role as parent. He solo parented for the week while I was in Vienna. He makes it easier. I'm really grateful for that and I realize how fortunate I am to have that kind of support.

I'll probably say this every time but I'm going to try to keep up more. I think this space will be important as I get deeper into all this muck. For now, though, signing off.